By way of an introduction...

As one who has spent many unhappy years trying to find a relationship, I am well acquainted with the miseries of dating, and the continual slog of 'putting yourself out there'.  Wherever there is.

And while I have repeatedly tried to be okay on my own, it has been extremely difficult, and often quite distressful, because at no point have I really chosen to be on my own.  I had a friend some years back who said he was happy on his own, and in many respects preferred it.  However, that was never my situation, and so I am entirely understanding of those who find singledom a deeply depressing place.

For those that watched Ally McBeal in the late 1990s, you will be aware of the concept of a "theme song", something that plays in your head to lift you out of a difficult mood or circumstance.  I eventually settled some years back on The Carpenters' Goodbye To Love.  An unusual choice perhaps, but one that I have found empowering in moments of inner crisis.

The reason why it may seem odd is the assumption that the song is an absolutist adieu to amore.  On the contrary, it's more an acceptance of a current loveless state, along with all the associated woes, allowing that a love may present itself in the future, but that future being some time away, the protagonist will right now choose to live without the suffering of a consuming yearning.

Many out there are unaware of what it is to really feel that loneliness day after day, and by that I mean actually feel it, as though it were a piece of unpleasant food to be painfully digested repeatedly.  Undoubtedly I will talk more on that in due course.

For now I will simply introduce those of you who don't know it to the song, and wish you all the greatest success in finding your own singular happiness.

Carpenters – Goodbye To Love Lyrics

I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it

So I've made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for
Something I could live for

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can

What lies in the future
Is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that
I've been wrong
But for now this is my song

And it's goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love